I Hate Tim Burton Movies... But It's Okay

In light of the upcoming release of Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, I figure it's as good a time as any to talk about director Tim Burton and his repertoire of films. On a side-note; what a bafflingly pompous title that is. I mean, if I tell you I watched Avatar, I might have to explain that it was the one with the blue space people and not The Last Airbender, but by the time we've gotten that figured out, I'd still be half way through saying "Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children".

Anyway, there are probably a couple of people wondering who this Tim Burton guy I'm talking about actually is, so let's get into that. He's arguably one of the most famous film directors of the past forty odd years (so if you are questioning who he is, then we need to talk), being responsible for such classic movies as Batman, Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, and a whole host of absolute rubbish no-one wants to talk about (has anyone ever heard of Corpse Bride?). Now I can't honestly say that I've seen all of them - nothing could ever get me to watch Mars Attacks - but I've seen the vast majority of them and... I just don't enjoy them. At all

To be blunt, I have no idea what it is that people see in these movies, because every single one I watch causes me to cringe, roll my eyes, and groan from start to finish.

The thing is though, and this part is important, I still respect Mr. Burton to some degree. Whereas I hate movies like Batman v Superman, The Force Awakens, and Spectre because they're empty cash cows with no artistic values - as well as 2 of 3 being really badly made movies - Tim Burton is clearly a guy who has a passion for film. One could argue that over the years he has made some cash grabs of his own (don't ever watch his Charlie And The Chocolate Factory), but he has always been an artist at the core. His movies irritate me because I really dislike his tropes and style, not because they have any negative connotations for the industry. I'm here to fix Hollywood, and Tim Burton is a far cry from what is broken about movie culture.

What I'm getting at here is a justification for me not reviewing Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiarly Long Titles. I don't want to see it, and I wouldn't say that any opinion I have is helpful to someone who is open to liking the work of Tim Burton. It's virtually a guarantee that I won't like the film, so I'm not in a position to give you a recommendation, as I have a biased mindset.

Not that I go into every film I review with an unbiased mindset, far from it. Critics have often debated what should go into a review, but one thing that I feel I can state with confidence is that it's only a good thing for there to be a variety of different reviewers with a wide variety of different tastes and personal biases. With objective outlooks, reviews would be both boring and false. Like it or not, everyone has different things that contribute to their enjoyment or distaste for films, so it only makes sense that those different opinions are represented by the media which covers those films.

As for me, I don't like anything about Tim Burton films, so the type of people whom I represent when reviewing a Tim Burton film are the ones who already dislike his films anyway, and have no interest in seeing it.

Bottom line: I won't see or review MPHFPC, but I guess I'm okay with you or anyone else getting a ticket.

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